Flame of Silence
by AndThenWeWere
Summary: Hermione has secrets, secrets that are dark and deep and desperate. Draco loves her. Together, they bond. Together, Hermione becomes stronger. But when her friends find out, and her old habits start returning, she begins the long spiral down yet again. Can the blonde haired Slytherin boy come to her rescue? Warning: self harm, Dramione. Depressed!Hermione
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is a one shot. Meaning this is it. But if you guys like it, then I have some ideas for a story with this in it. Please R&R!

Hermione Granger sat alone in the girls' bathroom, silent tears making their way down her alabaster cheeks. Never before had she felt so alone. Perhaps it was that Harry and Ron were always so close, leaving her in the lurch. Or maybe it was because she loved Ron. But she knew better than to think that the slightly idiotic red head would ever like her back. More tears flew from her dark brown eyes. Her heart and mind felt heavy.

She drew out her wand, trying to remember a particular Transfigurations chapter. It wasn't hard for her to think back to it- Hermione had made it a habit to memorize every spell she learned.

"_Objectus lamnia!" _The bushy haired 14 year old whispered, and before she knew it, her pencil had been transformed into a simple, ivory handled knife. Her breathing became slightly more jagged and a small smile began to spread across her light pink lips.

She grabbed the knife, a sudden warmth flooding through her body. Maybe it was wrong, loving a knife the way Hermione did, but to her, the simplistic metal blood looked like nothing more than relief.

She rolled up her cloak and sweater sleeve, taking a moment to admire the neat rows of raised white scars that littered her wrists. She hadn't pressed a blade to her skin in so long- and for a fleeting moment, Hermione wondered if this was the right thing to do. After all, when her Head of House, Minerva McGonagall had discovered them, she had made a promise not to do it again. Still. The sadness that threatened to engulf the young girl was so heavy-so severe- that every questioning thought glided from her mind. She was certain.

She was ready.

She drew the knife across her skin, the intense pain barely registering in her body. Instead, she felt a distraction from the hell that she was living, and in her mind, that was nothing but pure solace. Peace. Consolation. For a passing moment, she didn't have to think about Harry or Ron, the pressure of her studies, or the nightmares that permeated her brain every night.

She watched the crimson droplets of blood fall down her wrist and into the awaiting palm of her hand, the soft trickle surprisingly calming. She waited until the blood flow had almost stopped before doing it again….And again…..And again. It felt so good. Who knew that a transfigured blade could do so well at the job?

Finally, she gave up. Now, her wrist hurt too much to keep going. She quickly re-transfigured the knife into a pencil and tucked it behind her ear and into her bushy brown hair. Hermione let out a small weep of sorrow. Her memories, every awful moment, came back to her in such a deafening push that it felt as if they had been delivered by Satan himself.

She let out a great cry of anguish as she remembered all the times she had been called a nerd or a know-it-all. God, they just didn't realize how it hurt her! All she had ever wanted was to be accepted for who she was. She thought she had found equanimity with Ron and Harry- but instead she had found nothing but bedlam.

"Hello? Who's there?" A slightly cold, dreary voice called out. Hermione sucked in her breath, gathering her things and rolling her cloak and sweater sleeves down, hissing slightly at the sudden pain.

"Just me," Hermione replied, standing up and walking over to the sinks.

"Granger." Hermione gasped. Out of all people….Draco Malfoy? Why? She shook her head, turning one of the sinks and washing off her hands.

"So what were you in here crying about? Ron? I bet you like him! Or perhaps that nine out of ten on the Charms homework?" Draco drawled. Hermione tried not to start crying again, but something about the harsh tone of Draco's snobbish voice broke her down a little bit.

"Granger? Are you-crying?" Draco asked, his voice humorous.

"Please. Just leave me alone," Hermione mumbled, rolling up her cloak sleeve and dabbing at her eyes with her sweater. Just then, something in Draco's face softened a bit.

"What's that on your sleeve?" He asked, suddenly worried. Hermione pulled her cloak back down and turned away, her heart thumping harder than it had ever before. Malfoy, of anyone in the entire school, would NOT be the one to find out her secret. She began walking away, but Draco had other ideas. He pulled the skinny girl close to him, his expression unreadable.

"Show me your arm." His voice was commanding. Hermione cowered slightly, but didn't comply. No way was she showing him_ anything _without a fight.

"Fine. We'll do it my way." With that, Draco grabbed her forearm. Hermione let out a small cry, out of either fear or sadness, but didn't quarrel with the Slytherin. Her nerves were too high to do anything of the sort.

He carefully rolled up her sleeve, gasping slightly at the array of cuts and scars. He ran his finger of a few, causing Hermione to shiver. He locked his stare with hers, and for a moment, all was silent.

He took her hand and led her over to a sink, turning it on and grabbing some paper towels, carefully dabbing at her arm until most of the blood had stopped.

"I'm sorry," Hermione whispered as Draco turned on a sink and grabbed a few paper towels, tenderly dabbing at her still bloody wrist.

"Don't be sorry, for the sake of Merlin," Draco replied, taking off his scarf and wrapping it around her damaged arm. Hermione gave him a small smile of thanks and turned to leave, hoping that would be the end of that. Unfortunately, Draco stopped her, reaching out and placing a soft hand on her shoulder. Hermione turned around, and for a moment, Draco could see just how broken the Gryffindor was.

"You honestly thought I would just let you leave?" He grumbled. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I was hoping."

"Well, too bad." Draco said, still staring deep into her tear sodden eyes.

"Please, please, please, don't tell anyone…." Hermione's voice trailed off. She was embarrassed. She was sad. And she didn't want this to get out of hand.

"I may not be the sweetest Bertie Bott Bean, but I wouldn't tell something like this." Draco assured the very broken hearted looking girl. Hermione smiled, but whether it was out of relief or because she found Draco's joke funny she didn't know.

"So tell me, what's bothering you?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because I'm not going to let you leave here until you do." Draco said. Hermione gaped. She was trapped! She didn't want to talk about it! But really, it was her only choice. She wanted to leave...

"I like Ron. A lot. I think. Lately he's been getting on my nerves. But I think he likes Lavender Brown….. And I feel so left out, like a third wheel. I think Harry's over me. Plus, everyone calls me a know-it-all, but I really just want to impress my parents and make them see. Make them see I'm not a disappointment. I always feel sad, even if I'm supposed to be happy, and that in itself makes me even sadder. So there. You happy now?" Hermione snapped. Draco shook his head.

And he pressed his lips to hers.

Hermione expected it to feel all wrong, but instead she was welcomed by nothing but pleasure. She felt Draco release her wrist and bring his hand up to cup her cheek. He pulled away, leaving Hermione a bit breathless but quite happy. But when she looked up, tears had begun to stain his cheeks.

"Promise me you won't do it again." His voice was firm, but cracked a bit again. Hermione glanced down at her arm. She was so confused, now even more so. Wasn't she supposed to like Ron?

"Please." She stared up at him, a sudden warmth of love tickling her slightly. All thoughts of Ron left her mind. She realized that she did indeed like Draco.

"Yes." She leaned back in, kissing him again, before pulling back.

"Why do you care? Do you even like me?" She sputtered. Draco smiled slightly, wiping at his eyes.

"Of course I like you! I always have! That's why I've been so mean to you!" Draco yelled, as if it was obvious. Hermione shrunk back a little.

Draco slipped his hand into hers.

And they kissed again.


	2. Chapter 2

When Hermione walked into Potions the next day, the last person she wanted to see happened to be sitting in the desk right besidehers.

Draco Malfoy.

Her heartbeat quickened as she took a seat, avoiding his icy, yet somehow kind gaze. She pulled out her Potions book, which was battered and worn, and straightened out her cauldron. She hated when things looked out of order. She also hated it when certain people with gray-blue eyes stared at her intensely. But mostly, she hated not having the courage to say something to him.

"So, Granger," he muttered, causing Hermione to shudder. His voice was still spiteful. For a moment, she forgot that just last night he had cried about her, kissed her, told her he liked her. The old Malfoy seemed to have returned, this time with a nasty sneer etched onto his face.

_"What?"_ She questioned, pushing a piece of brown hair behind her ear and flipping through her textbook.

"About last night-"Draco began, but Hermione interrupted.

"You don't like me? You're going to tell everyone? Everything you said was a hoax?" She whispered, still averting his shining eyes.

"No, that wasn't what I was going to say. I was going to tell you that I meant everything I said. And that I want to meet with you after class," Draco muttered, causing Hermione to look up sharply. He…Wanted to meet with her after class? To talk to her? She sucked in her breath and pulled the heavy black sleeves of her robes down over her hands. Draco placed a gentle hand on the inside crease of her elbow and locked his eyes with hers.

"Attention, class, today we will be making a Strengthening Potion. Please turn to page 394." The silky smooth and very bored sounding voice of Severus Snape broke Hermione out of her trance-like state. Letting out a long held in breath, she re-geared her attention to the greasy haired teacher and tried her best not to look back to the very enticing Slytherin.

-00800- _After class….._

"You wanted to speak with me?" Hermione sputtered the second her and Draco were outside, alone, in the barren hallway. Draco looked over at her, and instead of seeing the usual smirk, she saw a genuine smile.

She tried not to focus on how brilliantly beautiful and alight his face looked when he was smiling and instead on the unknown reason why they had congregated in the empty hall.

"Hermione, I want you to know that I'm not lying when I say this. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, either. What happened last night… It upset me. A lot. I don't really understand it, and chances are, I never will. But it makes me _so _sad to know that you've done that to yourself. I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you need anything, anything at all, please, _please, _come to me instead of the knife. Because I really, really like you. Nothing I said last night was fake or false. I mean every word I said." Draco reached his hands out and grabbed Hermione's. She smiled up at him.

"How long did it take to memorize that speech of yours?" She inquired, causing Draco to chuckle lightly.

"All of last night. Hey, look at me," his voice was now soft, and he reached his hand out to tilt her chin up to meet his bright eyes.

"Please come to me next time," he muttered, and suddenly, his soft pink lips were pressed against hers. Hermione was surprised, both at the kiss and the passion and lust that obviously consumed Draco.

"And what would two fifth years such as yourselves be doing... whatever this is ...when you have your next class to get to? Malfoy, Granger, please follow me. Obviously, we need to have a discussion about appropriate hall behavior at Hogwarts." Snape interrupted the very heated moment, and Hermione and Draco shared a nervous and worried look before giving a quick 'yes, sir' and following him down the staircase.

And Draco didn't let go of her hand.


End file.
